Part 7 ~ We Lost Family And Friends....

So there we were finally alone in our home. The police had left and it almost felt like they had sucked the air right out with them. Depressurized almost, for lack of a better word.


Our house was in shambles along with our lives. Our whole world turned up side down in less then 24 hours. I had pinched myself hoping against hope that I would awaken and this would be all just a horrible nightmare...No such luck. This was reality. Our new reality. Our lives were now changed forever.


The minister had also left and we were waiting for him to give us word on our son. I hadn't seen my son since early the day before. Little did I know it would be weeks until I would see him again. Which would be behind a glass window at the county jail. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to just hug him and tell him I Loved him. But for now I could only rely on the kindness of a stranger.

I tried to compose myself as best as I could. So I could deal with my children and all the calls that were now streaming in. All day the phone had been quiet. Now it seemed like it had a life of it's own. I answered all the calls, who knows it might have been my son. But It never was. Whoever said.."You have a right to one phone call"...Didn't live here.


I called my cousin who was a lawyer. This wasn't his specialty but he referred me to someone he knew who could help. My brother in-law also gave us his lawyer's number.


I made a few more phone calls to some of our family and friends. Some were willing to listen and were willing to be there for us. Others were not. The old saying is true... "You don't really know who you can count on until your back is against the wall". We did lose family and friends over this.


My children were now calming down as best as they could under the circumstances. My 14 year old daughter asked if she could go for a walk. I really didn't want any of my children out walking, especially alone. God knows the last time one of them did he didn't come home. But she has always been a very independent child. And very sensible beyond her years. She pleaded with me over and over. She said she needed to just be away from our house after being here all day literally locked in side. She needed time alone to think.


I don't know who I was more afraid of. The people who were angry, the reporters, or unfortunately the police themselves. I had been telling my children since they were old enough to understand. That if they ever became separated or lost from me, to go to a police officer, and they will bring you home. That they could trust them even if they were strangers. Perhaps that's why my son trusted them so much? Unfortunatly I don't think I would tell them that, had I had to do it over.


My daughter was persistent, but I had visions of people showing up at our door like a scene from an old Frankenstein movie, with pitchforks, rakes, and torches. I know that might sound silly to most people. But the news coverage on this case for the past week had been unbelievable and people were angry. The town was demanding they find who did this. So they could feel that their sleepy little lakeside community was again safe, and they wouldn't need to lock their doors anymore. The news had reported over and over.."This quiet community hasn't seen a murder here in over 30 years"...


Against my better judgment I let her go. Some might think I was a bad mother. But we had been held against our will here for nearly a whole day. Even for me this home I had felt was a safe haven, now felt violated and stifling. I suppose not trying to make exuses, I wasn't totaly thinking clearly? I see now that I shouldn't have. But I did, telling her to only be gone a very short time. And she was only gone a shot time. But while she was out walking, an adult we were related to distantly by marriage, approached her and asked how she could show her face. That her brother was a killer. He said a few more choice words. But I'm sure you got the idea. She came home angry and in tears. This was a grown adult, she was just 14. And someone who she thought was a friend of our family.


This behavior was indicative to the way the community and many people would treat my family in the coming months. And why the Frankenstein movie kept playing in over my mind. Yet there were many who stood behind us and my son.


That evening of my son's arrest, reminded me of the day my mother past away. Family and Friends alike, relatives I hadn't seen in years, and even strangers who I'd never met, actually came to our door. Some came to just give us their support, others with food or even cards. I was so moved by their show of support. And the fact that they actually came to our house. Earlier that day I had one person tell me they didn't want to come over because they had a company sticker on their car, they were afraid that their car might be shown on the news. I had pictured this big magnetic type sign that people put on there cars. Later when I saw it, it was the size of half a bumper sticker.


One thing this whole ordeal was teaching me was tolerance. And to accept that everyone has a right to their own opinions. But I was going to show them they were wrong. My son's life was literally hanging in the balance. My son's reputation along with our family's was also at stake. My children had to go back to school in the next few days and face the community's children. I worked 5 miles away. Everyday in my line of work I dealt with the public and the public were people in our community. My husband's family had lived here over 30 years. My mother in-law was a huge part of her church and well known.


I had the fight of my life ahead of me and not a clue what to do. I just knew that I had to. How many times I had wished that my mother was still alive to comfort me and give me advice. I really needed her. But then at the same time I was so glad she didn't have to go through this. My son and my mother were close. She didn't have to see the horrible picture on the news of my son being led to court. Or hear the awful things that were being said.


I was the mother now like it or not...